Earthside Hijinks
by Mirrored Illusions
Summary: John Sheppard is recalled to Earth for his father's funeral, and then goes... shopping.


**Title**: Earthside Hijacks  
**Fandom**: Stargate Atlantis/Stargate SG-1.  
**Characters**: John Sheppard, Vala Mal Doran, Cameron Mitchell, David Sheppard, Bill Lee.  
**Pairings**: Sheppard/Mitchell  
**Word count**: 1301.  
**Disclaimer**: The Stargate Franchise doesn't belong to me.**  
AN**: Not beta-read. Sorry. All mistakes are mine.  
**AN 2**: Written for sg_flyboys on LJ for Round Six, specifically for shadowkeeper.  
_Originally posted on January 13th, 2013._

It took John a little while to think of Cam after arriving back on Earth to go to his father's wake, but when he did he quickly sent off a text message. He knew his… partner? Boyfriend? Lover? No, that still sounded like a bad romance novel. Whatever, _Cam_ was off-world at the moment, but he figured that was the kind of thing he was supposed to do. Or at least that's what Cam kept telling him every time he tried to improve John's communication skills.

Not that the other man was ever particularly successful, but his way of attempted persuasion was usually of the explicit kind and he saw no reason to discourage it. After all they both reaped the benefits of it.

He was hoping for a peaceful funeral followed by a civil visit with his older brother to sort out whatever needed his attention, and then some sorely needed alone time with Cameron.

They were on Earth, so there would be no Wraith disrupting his plans, and if the Goa'uld or Ori or whoever the current bad guys were at the moment, attacked there were plenty of people at the SGC to take care of it.

Except then there was Ava the non-replicating Replicator and her evil "brother", and Dave got upset that he left early to do classified things. Fast forward and his quick trip to Earth to bury his father also included seeing Bates again, which was a nice surprise, and somehow ended up jeopardizing Nancy's career, which was not so good, and on top of all that he'd still had to see his brother again and talk about… stuff.

The second time seeing his brother that week went well at first, but like pretty much every other meeting they'd had it went south after a while. Starting with Dave discovering the colorful finger marks around his throat, and going rapidly downhill from there.

_No, he didn't want or need money. No, he didn't want any part of the company. No, he didn't want any of the furniture, paintings, silverware, or any of the houses._ He quite liked his current quarters back on the base, thanks. _No, he didn't want any of the horses or dogs, either._ They wouldn't fit in the aforementioned quarters.

Not that his brother had listened to him, he never did, so John had ended up with a sizable amount of money, a collection of highly expensive paintings, and two houses. Well, it was actually a horse farm and an apartment near a beach in L.A., but semantics. Right?

Much to his annoyance he had also inherited a quarter of Sheppard Utilities, and Dave flatly refused to take it off his hands or even allow him to sell it. Apparently his father had anticipated his reaction and put in the proper safeguards in his last will and testament to prevent John from selling his shares.

Patrick Sheppard had been a stubborn and shrewd man in life, and even in death he obviously wanted the last word.

He briefly considered appointing Cam as his proxy, just to see Dave's reaction to another flyboy at his precious board meetings, but quickly dismissed it since Cam spent so much time off-world and that would be a little difficult to explain to his already pissed off brother. The image made him smile though.

In the end John could see no way out of the situation other than to allow Dave to act as his proxy in the company while he was "abroad", but he had other plans for the money his father had left him. Plans he was pretty sure his father would not approve of.

Smirking he hijacked Dr. Lee before he could be beamed back to wherever it was he had gotten the sunburn, and grabbed Cam on his way out. Or at least he had tried to. Vala and Dr. Jackson had been with him and apparently the crazy alien decided she wanted to tag along, which meant that Dr. Jackson had to come, too, in order to make her behave. Quietly he didn't think that would be all that effective, but what did he know?

John quickly had to revise his plans to include the archeologist and SG-1's resident space pirate, but he was adaptable and those two promised to be entertaining if nothing else. So eventually he, Dr. Lee, Cam, Ronon, Jackson, and Vala left the Mountain in the two vehicles he had commandeered.

Halfway through his impromptu shopping spree he was trying to decide if kidnapping the demented duo and bringing them back with him to Atlantis would get him shot (by Cam, the rest of SG-1, General O'Neill, the SGC and/or the Lanteans), or if the inhabitants of the City would've just taken it in stride just like they did with everything else that was thrown at them.

Seriously, they were comedy gold. And Ronon, of all people, joined in and egged them on when he got bored.

It didn't hurt that both of them were easy on the eye, and that their antics made what would otherwise have been a boring excursion into something entertaining.

It got even better when Vala winked and distracted the rest of the group so that he and Cam could get some privacy for ten minutes. Cam insisted between kisses that while Sam and Daniel were the brains of the team, Vala knew pretty much everything that was going on around her. Hiding their relationship from her was a lost cause.

John was pretty sure the same thing could be said about Teyla if she ever saw them together.

He silently placed Vala Mal Doran in the mental folder he had named 'Dangerous Women Who Can Kick My Ass and/or Outsmart Me'. Other females in that folder included, but were not limited to, Teyla Emmagan, Larrin, Jennifer Keller, and Samantha Carter.

Four hours and thousands of dollars lighter they returned to the base, or more correctly John and Cam went to Cam's apartment and the others returned to the Mountain. Dr. Lee may or may not have been returned to his hotel room, he wasn't sure and didn't really care.

He had barely gotten out of his jacket and boots before Cam had hooked his fingers in John's belt loops and, while walking backwards, led him into the bathroom. John had simply lifted his hands and directed Cam's head exactly where he wanted it. A warm mouth and an eager tongue greeted him. He more felt than saw Cam unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants.

Mmm, he knew there was a reason he was with this man…

Back in Atlantis he got Rodney to assemble the home cinema thing he had gotten Dr. Lee to help him pick out back on Earth for the Media Common Room. Everyone was invited to movie night and John got the kitchens to pop some of the Popcorn he had bought.

Ronon had decided that the first film they were watching was _Back to the Future_, apparently they had been making a few too many references to it over the years and he wanted to know what was so special about a DeLorean.

He decided that it was probably the better part of valor not to tell the crowd that he had allowed Ronon to buy pretty much any movie he wanted during their shopping trip, including a number of movies he was fully aware that McKay and certain other scientists had issues with.

Reclining on his end of the sofa he knew he could pacify his friend with some of the coffee he had bought back on their homeworld.

He smiled to himself and while watching the movie he imagined what Cameron had looked like back in the late 80's.


End file.
